Craig's List

Recently I have discussed with friends about the wonderful world of Craig's List. You can find a job, a home, a dog, a friend, a sofa, your potential soul mate you talked to in line at Plaza Theatre or a fuck buddy to help you out with the sexual tension left over from not getting your potential soul mate's number.

The casual encounters section can keep me entertained for hours. It also puts into light different sexual kinks, fantasies, and trends. The one thing that always catches my eye and makes me wonder if any qualitative studies have been done, is the correlation between ethnicity and oral sex. It seems to me that men of color and ethnicities other than Western European descent really enjoy and crave performing oral sex on their female partners. There are MANY posts where that is what men are looking for, not even looking for someone to give them pleasure.
How many "white" girls out there can agree that getting "white" guys to perform oral sex is a chore? It is like there is stigma about it and white boys are just too cool to do it. Like giving into a woman's desires and needs is a bad thing. I am really curious number wise how many more men of ethnicities other than western european enjoy performing oral sex compared to those of western european descent.

By the way, can you tell that I am taking a Race & Ethnicity class this semester? It sucks by the way. We have no discussions and I feel like the professor is just discussing topics we covered in my history classes....

I also wonder what is the likeliness that someone will actually answer one of those ads and also how nervous they must be doing so. I mean think about, for all you know you could have the orgasm of your life, or end up as someone's flesh cubes!

How about the date section? Do the dates go well? Anyone can describe themselves fabulously after sitting in front of their computer screen for hours compiling the perfect post to attract their ideal mate even if they are less than the ideal person they described themselves being.

All in all, I don't care about other's outcomes as long as they keep the entertainment coming!

Happy Craig's Listing y'all!

YES! YES! YES..actually..ummm no

I just read an article that said that 80% of women fake their orgasms. What the hell ladies! No wonder so many men have no idea what they are doing when it comes to giving women orgasms.

Faking not only doesn't help you out, it doesn't help your guy out, and it definitely does not help out any of his future partners.

Once upon a time when I was 18 years old I was dating a boy. He was cute in the fluffy gamer way. I never was really sexually attracted to him, but I thought that once we had sex that it would change. I also have to add that back then I didn't wait to have sex with guys I was dating. Anyways, we had sex. He used his upper body to move himself.....which does not make sense since the penis is in the lower body region. Being one who thinks life is too short for bad sex, I spoke up.

"Hey baby, why don't we try {this} ?" I said this as sweet as possible- I SWEAR!!!

"No, I got it"

This exchange happened a few times before I muscled my way on top to take over to show him some tricks. No joke, I was on my back within seconds of getting on top. He said "I got this."

He didn't.

I didn't fake it. He came, and I just laid there pondering what girl had led him to believe that what just happened was an acceptable sexual experience. I will not lie, I avoided him for a week or so to mull over what had happened. I then decided to give it another shot.

He performed just the same. But this time after the 3rd time of him telling me he had it, when he did not, I spoke up.

"You don't got it."

He did not like this response. He was quite angry actually.

Gentleman out there who want to actually make your woman cum, and cum again....take suggestions. His response to be angry at me for speaking up that I was not sexually satisfied might have upset some girls into shutting up and faking it, but not this one!

Ladies- you get to cum, and no guy should get mad at you because HIS skills are lacking. But, you also need to make sure you have the right frame of mind to relax and let an orgasm take you over because orgasms technically happen in the brain.

I do not blame guys for being upset when a woman fakes an orgasm, if and when they find out. A recent episode of Parenthood addressed this issue.

Here is the conversation went down

"Have you ever faked an orgasm"

"No, I haven't had to...Of course everybody has. It's like we don't want you to feel bad."

"This is horrible...How am i suppossed to tell"

"you can't honey, it's fake..you put on a happy face, better luck next time...it's an act of generosity...it's a gift...it says to you "thank you so much for trying, please come again soon, please come again as soon as you possibly can"

Is faking an orgasm a gift? No it is not. Honesty is a gift. Just say you didn't, or even say it was just a little. If you know that you won't be able to have one, say it. Admit to having a mental block and figuring out what the mental block is so that the next time your guy is up for the challenge he might actually succeed.

If you are caught up on what you look like naked- get over it. As a fabulous girlfriend told me recently, "Guys are just excited you are naked and having sex with you." Your body will not look bangin from all angles, but how you feel to him is what it is all about- and especially how he feels to you!

Anal, DP and Facials..OH MY

As someone who has been out of the game for around 2.5 years, I decided to check out to see if there was anything new in porn to reflect a trend that might be going on in "the real world" of hooking up.

Nope nothing new. Guys still getting off on the taboo anal, cumming on a girls face, and of course toys and DP.

Seeing as I am not one to shy away from very blunt and open conversations about all kinds of sexual practices, fetishes (which can only involve inanimate objects if you did not know-feet don't fit in this category), and kinks, I think it is kind of sad that we have all but run out of creative sexual practices.

Anal is so un-taboo now that middle and high school kids are in on the practice because 1.) "he digs it" and 2.) I can't get pregnant. So any adults trying it now because it is racy and kinda kinky- "Omg you are like soo out of it!" Also- it isn't something you just do. You need to let a girl know that you wanna do it. Because most girls I have talked to about this have straight up said that they need a heads up to be prepared. This means more than a minute heads up as well.

Cumming on a girl's face isn't something I all together get (i know embarrassing to admit) but like I say "whatever gets you off -as long as it's consensual." I mean it is a big clean up procedure right? Who really wants to "clean up" after sex. It isn't like a guy has a great aim. It isn't a steady flow. It goes everywhere- some on your neck, cheek, forehead, hair, maybe shoulder-basically if you want to make sure you are cum free you will need to spend time in front of a mirror to get it all. I like to pass out after sex (i am such a guy) and don't really want to play "where's the cum" a la There's Something About Mary.

Toys and DP (if you don't know, then look it up)- oh yawn. Vibrators were invented around the turn of the 20th century to help with "female hysteria" because gynecologists hands were cramping up trying to relieve the sexual tension and pressure of women whose husbands were away at war. So basically they were used by respectable doctors to get women off, then were considered taboo once they started being used in porn- again happened early half of the 20th century.

Again- nothing new.

Do we need to keep up with anymore sexual practices? Do we need to be on our toes worrying that we will be out of the loop? Will women's magazines actually have "new sex tricks that will blow his mind" that all those women who are actually sexually active haven't done-many times? Do guys really want to feel pressured to learn new tricks to please the women (because it does actually take skill to get a woman off)? Are lack of new tricks the reason people stray in relationship? The more you do with your partner the less there is to do? Hell, I even read on www.textsfromlastnight.com that a girl told a guy that she was saving anal for marriage and the guy was texting his friend this and saying he actually caught himself looking at rings. Is anal really worth marrying a girl for? What if there is another sex act the guy wants to try and the "anal" wife doesn't want to do it- would it be time for a "anal" divorce?

Maybe this is the direction relationships are headed for. Back to the good ole days- ya gotta hold out on the kink for marriage.

Condoms don't protect against AIDS

that is what a young friend of mine told me when I gave him a free condom for The Great American Condom Campaign.

WHAT!!!! He tells me that the fibers in the condoms are larger than the AIDS virus. I asked him where he learned this and he said in 8th grade sex education class.

Yeah and people actually want to believe that the abstinence only sex education works!!! This is why there are so many more teens with STDS I bet. They basically decided that what's the point of using a condom if you have a chance to get the disease if you do or not.

I freaked out. Told him that it was contraception misinformation and gave him some extras.

Now I am worried about all the teens out there who do not have someone correcting this misinformation .

Rant and Rave

For people to be offended that someone, who is going into the field of sex education, posts comments, short stories and the like on facebook to not only educate people but also to get feedback- is ridiculous.

I posted an interesting tidbit about how University of Michigan posted a sign that says the the boys are no longer allowed to masturbate in the dorm bathrooms because semen clogging the building pipes costs into the thousands every year. I thought this was not only hilarious but interesting. Who would have thought that semen would clog pipes? Does that mean that households that are mostly male should Drano the shower pipes more often?

The whole point is that being able to talk about this kind of news and information will get people more comfortable about all aspects of sex and therefore make sex talks that are due or that will happen years from now earlier. I mean 40% of parents of children 12-17 have sex talks with their children after the kids have already had sex! That is how off parents are now about sex talks. They aren't starting early enough and looking for the right times to talk about it with their kids. THey also don't want to hear the kid's "annoying parent" groan and also they aren't sure what to say to their kids because the topic also makes them uncomfortable.

Parents don't need to go into the details of sex. They only need to cover the basics: respect, think about it first, and contraceptives. Teach the kids to have respect for themselves in the involvement of sex. Breaks down to where, when, how, with who and why. Tell the kids that they need to make sure it happens in a place where their privacy can be respected and no friends (or enemies) can come in a sabotage the experience. When- they should not be under the influence of anything and it should not be something done on a whim, it should have been talked about with their partner and they should both be prepared. How- with respect for each other and with doubling up on contraceptives (female hormonal and condoms). Who- someone they can trust and know will not go around and talk about their personal experience together. In the age of all things digital- no one's first time should be tweeted about. Why- don't do it because everyone else is. Choose to have sex with someone the first time because you actually care about each other and everything that comes with each other's lives.

It sounds silly, but it really isn't. Yes, you may have to wait longer to have sex, but I think everyone would rather have great sex with someone they really care about than have horrible sex with someone they don't even like. The first time really makes a lasting impression on you and as kids become sexually active younger and younger it will make even greater impressions.

Condoms!

I got excited when I saw this in my Shape magazine.

I was standing in the condom aisle at Target months ago I stood and wondered why people had such an aversion to them. They come in fun colors, flavors, and textures. You have ones that are neon green and twisted, ones that are ribbed like sweaters and who doesn't like sweaters, ones that vibrate that are purely made for the women's pleasure which I love even more.

You even have lubes that help increase pleasure for both people.

Be safe, prevent stds and unwanted pregnancies, increase pleasure, decrease worries- use condoms