YES! YES! YES..actually..ummm no

I just read an article that said that 80% of women fake their orgasms. What the hell ladies! No wonder so many men have no idea what they are doing when it comes to giving women orgasms.

Faking not only doesn't help you out, it doesn't help your guy out, and it definitely does not help out any of his future partners.

Once upon a time when I was 18 years old I was dating a boy. He was cute in the fluffy gamer way. I never was really sexually attracted to him, but I thought that once we had sex that it would change. I also have to add that back then I didn't wait to have sex with guys I was dating. Anyways, we had sex. He used his upper body to move himself.....which does not make sense since the penis is in the lower body region. Being one who thinks life is too short for bad sex, I spoke up.

"Hey baby, why don't we try {this} ?" I said this as sweet as possible- I SWEAR!!!

"No, I got it"

This exchange happened a few times before I muscled my way on top to take over to show him some tricks. No joke, I was on my back within seconds of getting on top. He said "I got this."

He didn't.

I didn't fake it. He came, and I just laid there pondering what girl had led him to believe that what just happened was an acceptable sexual experience. I will not lie, I avoided him for a week or so to mull over what had happened. I then decided to give it another shot.

He performed just the same. But this time after the 3rd time of him telling me he had it, when he did not, I spoke up.

"You don't got it."

He did not like this response. He was quite angry actually.

Gentleman out there who want to actually make your woman cum, and cum again....take suggestions. His response to be angry at me for speaking up that I was not sexually satisfied might have upset some girls into shutting up and faking it, but not this one!

Ladies- you get to cum, and no guy should get mad at you because HIS skills are lacking. But, you also need to make sure you have the right frame of mind to relax and let an orgasm take you over because orgasms technically happen in the brain.

I do not blame guys for being upset when a woman fakes an orgasm, if and when they find out. A recent episode of Parenthood addressed this issue.

Here is the conversation went down

"Have you ever faked an orgasm"

"No, I haven't had to...Of course everybody has. It's like we don't want you to feel bad."

"This is horrible...How am i suppossed to tell"

"you can't honey, it's fake..you put on a happy face, better luck next time...it's an act of generosity...it's a gift...it says to you "thank you so much for trying, please come again soon, please come again as soon as you possibly can"

Is faking an orgasm a gift? No it is not. Honesty is a gift. Just say you didn't, or even say it was just a little. If you know that you won't be able to have one, say it. Admit to having a mental block and figuring out what the mental block is so that the next time your guy is up for the challenge he might actually succeed.

If you are caught up on what you look like naked- get over it. As a fabulous girlfriend told me recently, "Guys are just excited you are naked and having sex with you." Your body will not look bangin from all angles, but how you feel to him is what it is all about- and especially how he feels to you!

Oh My Sext!!!!

With the new iPhone 4 out, I have a feeling sexting will be taken to a whole other level.

Think about it, everything will go past picture text messages to tease your prey, calling them on Face Time and giving them a mini live preview..a la cyber sex on the go.

With sexting in the news as much as it is because of the youngins being dumb with it, I wondered if those of age partake in the activity as well.

I think of sexting for adults like foreplay. You are warming your partner up and getting your imagination going. It also benefits you and your partner, the more you talk about what you both want to do to each other, the more satisfied you both will be in bed because you are being open about your desires.

Now, as far as picture sexts go...you need to be a little more careful about what you send. If you include your face in the picture, or any identifying marks then you are asking for the picture to come back and bite you in the ass later on.

You gotta be sneaky about this part- include the naughty bits you want to tease with, but nothing else, no face, tattoos or whatever. Just the goods.

Sound good? Now, go out and experiment and report back!

To trim or not to trim

When it comes to safe sex, I feel that the best way to be safe is to make sure you are well acquainted with your sexy bits!

What do I mean by this, you may be asking. Well, it means keep your pubic hair in check.

Ladies- you have soo many options that it isn't even funny! The salon I go to has 7 waxing options in all. If you don't feel comfortable having someone wax you, then you can shave at home.

It is important to be a frequent visitor to your genitals so that you can make sure there are no indicators of a STD infection. Women get the worse end of the stick when it comes to sexually transmitted diseases and infections because they can cause a woman to become infertile and can also lead to a woman passing them onto her children in child birth.

Guys- it is totally manly to maintain your pubic hair. For one it makes it more enjoyable for your partner(s) and it also assist your in taking notice of any changes to your skin. Don't be the guy that didn't know he had a STD and passed it on to his partner.

Hell don't be a person who risks getting a STD- use condoms and talk about it with your partners. Nothing is hotter than a person who's STD tests come back negative!

Anal, DP and Facials..OH MY

As someone who has been out of the game for around 2.5 years, I decided to check out to see if there was anything new in porn to reflect a trend that might be going on in "the real world" of hooking up.

Nope nothing new. Guys still getting off on the taboo anal, cumming on a girls face, and of course toys and DP.

Seeing as I am not one to shy away from very blunt and open conversations about all kinds of sexual practices, fetishes (which can only involve inanimate objects if you did not know-feet don't fit in this category), and kinks, I think it is kind of sad that we have all but run out of creative sexual practices.

Anal is so un-taboo now that middle and high school kids are in on the practice because 1.) "he digs it" and 2.) I can't get pregnant. So any adults trying it now because it is racy and kinda kinky- "Omg you are like soo out of it!" Also- it isn't something you just do. You need to let a girl know that you wanna do it. Because most girls I have talked to about this have straight up said that they need a heads up to be prepared. This means more than a minute heads up as well.

Cumming on a girl's face isn't something I all together get (i know embarrassing to admit) but like I say "whatever gets you off -as long as it's consensual." I mean it is a big clean up procedure right? Who really wants to "clean up" after sex. It isn't like a guy has a great aim. It isn't a steady flow. It goes everywhere- some on your neck, cheek, forehead, hair, maybe shoulder-basically if you want to make sure you are cum free you will need to spend time in front of a mirror to get it all. I like to pass out after sex (i am such a guy) and don't really want to play "where's the cum" a la There's Something About Mary.

Toys and DP (if you don't know, then look it up)- oh yawn. Vibrators were invented around the turn of the 20th century to help with "female hysteria" because gynecologists hands were cramping up trying to relieve the sexual tension and pressure of women whose husbands were away at war. So basically they were used by respectable doctors to get women off, then were considered taboo once they started being used in porn- again happened early half of the 20th century.

Again- nothing new.

Do we need to keep up with anymore sexual practices? Do we need to be on our toes worrying that we will be out of the loop? Will women's magazines actually have "new sex tricks that will blow his mind" that all those women who are actually sexually active haven't done-many times? Do guys really want to feel pressured to learn new tricks to please the women (because it does actually take skill to get a woman off)? Are lack of new tricks the reason people stray in relationship? The more you do with your partner the less there is to do? Hell, I even read on www.textsfromlastnight.com that a girl told a guy that she was saving anal for marriage and the guy was texting his friend this and saying he actually caught himself looking at rings. Is anal really worth marrying a girl for? What if there is another sex act the guy wants to try and the "anal" wife doesn't want to do it- would it be time for a "anal" divorce?

Maybe this is the direction relationships are headed for. Back to the good ole days- ya gotta hold out on the kink for marriage.