S is for...sex

Craig's List

2010-11-11T18:12:00.000-08:00

Recently I have discussed with friends about the wonderful world of Craig's List. You can find a job, a home, a dog, a friend, a sofa, your potential soul mate you talked to in line at Plaza Theatre or a fuck buddy to help you out with the sexual tension left over from not getting your potential soul mate's number.

The casual encounters section can keep me entertained for hours. It also puts into light different sexual kinks, fantasies, and trends. The one thing that always catches my eye and makes me wonder if any qualitative studies have been done, is the correlation between ethnicity and oral sex. It seems to me that men of color and ethnicities other than Western European descent really enjoy and crave performing oral sex on their female partners. There are MANY posts where that is what men are looking for, not even looking for someone to give them pleasure.
How many "white" girls out there can agree that getting "white" guys to perform oral sex is a chore? It is like there is stigma about it and white boys are just too cool to do it. Like giving into a woman's desires and needs is a bad thing. I am really curious number wise how many more men of ethnicities other than western european enjoy performing oral sex compared to those of western european descent.

By the way, can you tell that I am taking a Race & Ethnicity class this semester? It sucks by the way. We have no discussions and I feel like the professor is just discussing topics we covered in my history classes....

I also wonder what is the likeliness that someone will actually answer one of those ads and also how nervous they must be doing so. I mean think about, for all you know you could have the orgasm of your life, or end up as someone's flesh cubes!

How about the date section? Do the dates go well? Anyone can describe themselves fabulously after sitting in front of their computer screen for hours compiling the perfect post to attract their ideal mate even if they are less than the ideal person they described themselves being.

All in all, I don't care about other's outcomes as long as they keep the entertainment coming!

Happy Craig's Listing y'all!

YES! YES! YES..actually..ummm no

2010-06-30T12:04:00.000-07:00

I just read an article that said that 80% of women fake their orgasms. What the hell ladies! No wonder so many men have no idea what they are doing when it comes to giving women orgasms.

Faking not only doesn't help you out, it doesn't help your guy out, and it definitely does not help out any of his future partners.

Once upon a time when I was 18 years old I was dating a boy. He was cute in the fluffy gamer way. I never was really sexually attracted to him, but I thought that once we had sex that it would change. I also have to add that back then I didn't wait to have sex with guys I was dating. Anyways, we had sex. He used his upper body to move himself.....which does not make sense since the penis is in the lower body region. Being one who thinks life is too short for bad sex, I spoke up.

"Hey baby, why don't we try {this} ?" I said this as sweet as possible- I SWEAR!!!

"No, I got it"

This exchange happened a few times before I muscled my way on top to take over to show him some tricks. No joke, I was on my back within seconds of getting on top. He said "I got this."

He didn't.

I didn't fake it. He came, and I just laid there pondering what girl had led him to believe that what just happened was an acceptable sexual experience. I will not lie, I avoided him for a week or so to mull over what had happened. I then decided to give it another shot.

He performed just the same. But this time after the 3rd time of him telling me he had it, when he did not, I spoke up.

"You don't got it."

He did not like this response. He was quite angry actually.

Gentleman out there who want to actually make your woman cum, and cum again....take suggestions. His response to be angry at me for speaking up that I was not sexually satisfied might have upset some girls into shutting up and faking it, but not this one!

Ladies- you get to cum, and no guy should get mad at you because HIS skills are lacking. But, you also need to make sure you have the right frame of mind to relax and let an orgasm take you over because orgasms technically happen in the brain.

I do not blame guys for being upset when a woman fakes an orgasm, if and when they find out. A recent episode of Parenthood addressed this issue.

Here is the conversation went down

"Have you ever faked an orgasm"

"No, I haven't had to...Of course everybody has. It's like we don't want you to feel bad."

"This is horrible...How am i suppossed to tell"

"you can't honey, it's fake..you put on a happy face, better luck next time...it's an act of generosity...it's a gift...it says to you "thank you so much for trying, please come again soon, please come again as soon as you possibly can"

Is faking an orgasm a gift? No it is not. Honesty is a gift. Just say you didn't, or even say it was just a little. If you know that you won't be able to have one, say it. Admit to having a mental block and figuring out what the mental block is so that the next time your guy is up for the challenge he might actually succeed.

If you are caught up on what you look like naked- get over it. As a fabulous girlfriend told me recently, "Guys are just excited you are naked and having sex with you." Your body will not look bangin from all angles, but how you feel to him is what it is all about- and especially how he feels to you!

Oh My Sext!!!!

2010-06-27T18:11:00.000-07:00

With the new iPhone 4 out, I have a feeling sexting will be taken to a whole other level.

Think about it, everything will go past picture text messages to tease your prey, calling them on Face Time and giving them a mini live preview..a la cyber sex on the go.

With sexting in the news as much as it is because of the youngins being dumb with it, I wondered if those of age partake in the activity as well.

I think of sexting for adults like foreplay. You are warming your partner up and getting your imagination going. It also benefits you and your partner, the more you talk about what you both want to do to each other, the more satisfied you both will be in bed because you are being open about your desires.

Now, as far as picture sexts go...you need to be a little more careful about what you send. If you include your face in the picture, or any identifying marks then you are asking for the picture to come back and bite you in the ass later on.

You gotta be sneaky about this part- include the naughty bits you want to tease with, but nothing else, no face, tattoos or whatever. Just the goods.

Sound good? Now, go out and experiment and report back!

To trim or not to trim

2010-06-18T12:57:00.000-07:00

When it comes to safe sex, I feel that the best way to be safe is to make sure you are well acquainted with your sexy bits!

What do I mean by this, you may be asking. Well, it means keep your pubic hair in check.

Ladies- you have soo many options that it isn't even funny! The salon I go to has 7 waxing options in all. If you don't feel comfortable having someone wax you, then you can shave at home.

It is important to be a frequent visitor to your genitals so that you can make sure there are no indicators of a STD infection. Women get the worse end of the stick when it comes to sexually transmitted diseases and infections because they can cause a woman to become infertile and can also lead to a woman passing them onto her children in child birth.

Guys- it is totally manly to maintain your pubic hair. For one it makes it more enjoyable for your partner(s) and it also assist your in taking notice of any changes to your skin. Don't be the guy that didn't know he had a STD and passed it on to his partner.

Hell don't be a person who risks getting a STD- use condoms and talk about it with your partners. Nothing is hotter than a person who's STD tests come back negative!

Anal, DP and Facials..OH MY

2010-06-03T15:18:00.000-07:00

As someone who has been out of the game for around 2.5 years, I decided to check out to see if there was anything new in porn to reflect a trend that might be going on in "the real world" of hooking up.

Nope nothing new. Guys still getting off on the taboo anal, cumming on a girls face, and of course toys and DP.

Seeing as I am not one to shy away from very blunt and open conversations about all kinds of sexual practices, fetishes (which can only involve inanimate objects if you did not know-feet don't fit in this category), and kinks, I think it is kind of sad that we have all but run out of creative sexual practices.

Anal is so un-taboo now that middle and high school kids are in on the practice because 1.) "he digs it" and 2.) I can't get pregnant. So any adults trying it now because it is racy and kinda kinky- "Omg you are like soo out of it!" Also- it isn't something you just do. You need to let a girl know that you wanna do it. Because most girls I have talked to about this have straight up said that they need a heads up to be prepared. This means more than a minute heads up as well.

Cumming on a girl's face isn't something I all together get (i know embarrassing to admit) but like I say "whatever gets you off -as long as it's consensual." I mean it is a big clean up procedure right? Who really wants to "clean up" after sex. It isn't like a guy has a great aim. It isn't a steady flow. It goes everywhere- some on your neck, cheek, forehead, hair, maybe shoulder-basically if you want to make sure you are cum free you will need to spend time in front of a mirror to get it all. I like to pass out after sex (i am such a guy) and don't really want to play "where's the cum" a la There's Something About Mary.

Toys and DP (if you don't know, then look it up)- oh yawn. Vibrators were invented around the turn of the 20th century to help with "female hysteria" because gynecologists hands were cramping up trying to relieve the sexual tension and pressure of women whose husbands were away at war. So basically they were used by respectable doctors to get women off, then were considered taboo once they started being used in porn- again happened early half of the 20th century.

Again- nothing new.

Do we need to keep up with anymore sexual practices? Do we need to be on our toes worrying that we will be out of the loop? Will women's magazines actually have "new sex tricks that will blow his mind" that all those women who are actually sexually active haven't done-many times? Do guys really want to feel pressured to learn new tricks to please the women (because it does actually take skill to get a woman off)? Are lack of new tricks the reason people stray in relationship? The more you do with your partner the less there is to do? Hell, I even read on www.textsfromlastnight.com that a girl told a guy that she was saving anal for marriage and the guy was texting his friend this and saying he actually caught himself looking at rings. Is anal really worth marrying a girl for? What if there is another sex act the guy wants to try and the "anal" wife doesn't want to do it- would it be time for a "anal" divorce?

Maybe this is the direction relationships are headed for. Back to the good ole days- ya gotta hold out on the kink for marriage.

I'm sorry Dr I have what?

2010-05-03T11:07:00.000-07:00

Having a doctor sit you down and tell you that you have a STD is gonna be a life defining moment.

But what happens if your doctor is wrong and fails to tell you that they were wrong. But what to do if they go about covering it up from you for years?

Does it change who you are as a person? Does it make you more cautious of who you date? What about how you date-exclusive relationships only or do you attempt to do the casual thing?

If you found out you were misdiagnosed what would be the first thing you do? Go out for a one night (safe) stand? Call up an old bed buddy? Jump the new person you are dating and lick them from head to toe, enjoying the fact that you don't have to have that awkward conversation?

How would you feel about the time spent believing you had a STD? How would you view yourself differently knowing that you were actually always clean?

How many men do I have to date to find Mr Right?

2010-04-27T15:35:00.001-07:00

The average woman dates 24 men before she finds "Mr. Right." 24 men. 24 relationships. 24 possible sexual partners.

Is that true ladies? If so, how many of these men did you forfeit using contraceptives with? How many of these men did you let go without a condom? Now, this new research is saying that this is how many men the average woman dates. This is not even including sexual partners.

So in this day and age of excessive dating and breaking up, and hooking-up- what is the average number of sexual partners this average woman of 24 men has had? Are we still lying and being coy, not going over that "non-slutty" number we set in our mind? Or are we being honest about that number? I am guessing no on the last question. I am saying no because 1:2 sexually active persons will have had a STD by the time they are 25. That is a whole lot of funk on your junk if you ask me.

I want to ask these women how much they would care about their Mr. Right. I want to know this because is it enough to make sure they protect themselves as well as their current partner and their future Mr. Right? Because if they truly think that their Mr. Right is out there, wouldn't they want his current Ms. Now to practice safe sex so that when Miss and Mr Right find each other they do not have to worry about the possibility of STDs in their relationship?

So, average woman, I would like to know- do you practice safe sex with all your sexual partners in your search for Mr. Right?

Condoms don't protect against AIDS

2009-12-17T19:16:00.001-08:00

that is what a young friend of mine told me when I gave him a free condom for The Great American Condom Campaign.

WHAT!!!! He tells me that the fibers in the condoms are larger than the AIDS virus. I asked him where he learned this and he said in 8th grade sex education class.

Yeah and people actually want to believe that the abstinence only sex education works!!! This is why there are so many more teens with STDS I bet. They basically decided that what's the point of using a condom if you have a chance to get the disease if you do or not.

I freaked out. Told him that it was contraception misinformation and gave him some extras.

Now I am worried about all the teens out there who do not have someone correcting this misinformation .

Rant and Rave

2009-12-10T04:50:00.000-08:00

For people to be offended that someone, who is going into the field of sex education, posts comments, short stories and the like on facebook to not only educate people but also to get feedback- is ridiculous.

I posted an interesting tidbit about how University of Michigan posted a sign that says the the boys are no longer allowed to masturbate in the dorm bathrooms because semen clogging the building pipes costs into the thousands every year. I thought this was not only hilarious but interesting. Who would have thought that semen would clog pipes? Does that mean that households that are mostly male should Drano the shower pipes more often?

The whole point is that being able to talk about this kind of news and information will get people more comfortable about all aspects of sex and therefore make sex talks that are due or that will happen years from now earlier. I mean 40% of parents of children 12-17 have sex talks with their children after the kids have already had sex! That is how off parents are now about sex talks. They aren't starting early enough and looking for the right times to talk about it with their kids. THey also don't want to hear the kid's "annoying parent" groan and also they aren't sure what to say to their kids because the topic also makes them uncomfortable.

Parents don't need to go into the details of sex. They only need to cover the basics: respect, think about it first, and contraceptives. Teach the kids to have respect for themselves in the involvement of sex. Breaks down to where, when, how, with who and why. Tell the kids that they need to make sure it happens in a place where their privacy can be respected and no friends (or enemies) can come in a sabotage the experience. When- they should not be under the influence of anything and it should not be something done on a whim, it should have been talked about with their partner and they should both be prepared. How- with respect for each other and with doubling up on contraceptives (female hormonal and condoms). Who- someone they can trust and know will not go around and talk about their personal experience together. In the age of all things digital- no one's first time should be tweeted about. Why- don't do it because everyone else is. Choose to have sex with someone the first time because you actually care about each other and everything that comes with each other's lives.

It sounds silly, but it really isn't. Yes, you may have to wait longer to have sex, but I think everyone would rather have great sex with someone they really care about than have horrible sex with someone they don't even like. The first time really makes a lasting impression on you and as kids become sexually active younger and younger it will make even greater impressions.

The Great American Condom Campaign

2009-11-11T16:41:00.000-08:00

Been too busy to write or research topics but here is something awesome that I am doing!

The Great American Condom Campaign chooses people who have written in to become safe sites on their campuses. You receive 500 Trojan condoms and then you get to choose how you distribute them

So far I have set up a Facebook event. I also plan on making a sign and putting it on my messenger bag that says "FREE CONDOMS"

I hope to take pictures and make a fun video of people on my campus getting excited about their free condoms!

Population Density Moderators

2009-05-13T18:52:00.000-07:00

Everyone wants to be green these days. That is why I found this little satire in the April 2009 Fast Company magazine awesome.

Condoms and contraceptives in general are the easiest and cheapest (next to abstinence-but what is the fun in that!) to help control the growing population.

The problem is that the places where condoms are the most available aren't where we need to be worrying about the growing population. Africa, India and China are the worlds leading countries/continents where the population growth is steadily growing. There are soo many remote villages in these places that do not have family planning or contraceptives readily available. This is where we need to be concentrating our efforts.

I learned both in my Psychology and Environmental Science class that recent college graduates have been questioned on how many children they are planning to have. An alarming majority has said that they will only have 1 or just stick with having a dog. This is great for America, that means that we need to be helping other countries with their family planning and contraceptive awareness.

Condoms!

2009-04-14T04:33:00.000-07:00

I got excited when I saw this in my Shape magazine.

I was standing in the condom aisle at Target months ago I stood and wondered why people had such an aversion to them. They come in fun colors, flavors, and textures. You have ones that are neon green and twisted, ones that are ribbed like sweaters and who doesn't like sweaters, ones that vibrate that are purely made for the women's pleasure which I love even more.

You even have lubes that help increase pleasure for both people.

Be safe, prevent stds and unwanted pregnancies, increase pleasure, decrease worries- use condoms